The Owe Me Attitude?

November 20th, 2008

If gratitude is so vital, why isn’t everybody doing it? Well, that’s because it is both a skill and a feeling. It is a choice and a reaction. Several common obstacles may water down your capability to appreciate your blessings to the fullest. Any of these can leave you feeling deficient. But, when you are alert to these gratitude blockages, you can minimize their influence so they will not obstruct your potential for joy. One of the worst, if not the worst of all, is what I call “The Owe-Me Attitude.”
This is the relatively modern notion that someone or some group owes us; that we deserve something from others. With this mentality, even if we receive something, it’s not a gift but a right. This attitude dissolves gratitude on the spot. Nothing is quite so powerful, and so quickly destructive to your potential for joy, as the attitude of entitlement, or the “culture of complaint,” as some have labeled it.
Moaners and whiners surround us, and they often seem to be competing to see who has the worst grievance against society or who can be the most offended. Though we may laugh at this dynamic or try to distance ourselves from it, it is rubbing off on far too many unprotected people and infecting upcoming generations. Those who consume without contributing to society develop a deep sense of emptiness, which suspends the emotion of gratitude indefinitely.
Closely related to entitlement, but typically on a more interpersonal level, is what I call the Law of Familiarity. This simply means that the longer you’ve been exposed to a particular blessing in your life, the more likely you are to take it for granted. You begin to feel entitled to it rather than being grateful for it.
To maximize your potential for joy, you must go out of your way to make sure you are not taking for granted the wonderful relationships and other blessings in your life. Remember, gratitude expands joy, and entitlement shrinks it. Can you think of a better time that right now to spread the joy?
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Trust & Launch…today!

November 13th, 2008

During a recent workout my trainer suggested that I stand on one leg on the back/flat side of his Bosu Ball while I lifted my other leg to my chest and then back toward the ground without ever touching the ground or the even the ball.

In other words, he wanted me to balance on one leg on a very unstable surface while moving my other leg back and forth from fully extended to touching my opposite elbow. This may be as hard for you to visualize from my explanation as it was difficult for me to imagine myself performing this exercise when he was instructing me to do so. I remember looking at him like he was crazy (as I often do) in the gym. Since my glare did not discourage his insistence on my attempting this stunt, I went ahead and gave it a try. 

I was very deliberate, making sure that I placed my foot in the proper spot and concentrating on not falling and leaving the workout in worse shape than when I begun. I was extremely careful. I was very cautious. I didn’t want to make a mistake. I was playing great defense so to speak.And…I kept losing my balance as soon as I started lifting my leg up and down. My trainer, walked over and again demonstrated effortlessly and flawlessly how to do it right. (As if I’d missed some important key the first time) He just stepped up on the ball and did it. It was simple. He wasn’t careful. He wasn’t cautious. He just launched. So I made an important decision at that moment. I decided to “just do it” as the old Nike slogan puts it. My trainer again reassured me to, “trust and launch.” Trust and Launch! 

I wasn’t even sure exactly what he meant. Was I supposed to trust him? Was I supposed to trust God for this exercise? It didn’t seem particularly spiritual at the time. But, I realized just what he meant when he said, “You’re body knows what do. Just force it to do it!” So I walked to the ball quickly, stepped on the center without over-thinking it and simply started exercising. I kept my balance, worked my core and felt awesome and accomplished when I finished. That’s easy, I thought. As we discussed the principle at play, I gained some important clarity.  

My hesitation and negative expectation (that it wasn’t possible, safe, or even necessary to do this exercise) interfered with my potential to get the result. Yet the instant I made the decision to launch, I became a different student and a better athlete. When I launched on top of that oddly shaped ball I demanded greater balance than I’ve ever had before…and my body supplied it, but not a second before I really needed it. Demand and supply at work! 

How often can our doubts and fears manifest as delay, procrastination, and postponement?  

Rather than trusting my body’s ability to balance itself under unusual circumstances, I demanded to know how this would work or if it could even work. When I finally did launch, my body took over. I still don’t know how I did it, but now I don’t care about that. I got the result in this instance when I got out of my own way. 

Is there something in your life that you’ve been putting off? Is it in your business? Is it in your marriage? Does it involve your health and energy? 

If you wait until it feels right and safe, that time may never come! Why not trust God, trust yourself, and yes, even trust your body and then blast off? Focus on the “what” and leave the “how” up to a higher power. Just do it today! 

Think Huge,  

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Gratitude is a conviction, a practice, and a discipline…

November 11th, 2008

Gratitude is a conviction, a practice, and a discipline. It’s an essential nutrient, a kind of spiritual amino acid for human growth, creativity, and joy. Gratitude involves channeling your energy and attention toward what is present and working rather than what’s absent and ineffective. Gratitude is like a mental gearshift that takes you from turbulence to peacefulness, from stagnation to creativity. Gratitude brings you back to the present moment, to all that is working well in your life right now. Gratitude is the cornerstone of an unstoppable attitude. And gratitude can be cultivated and then experienced at ever-deepening levels. What are you doing this week to upgrade your gratitude?

Have YOU Taken The 8 Day Challenge?

Coach 

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This Is Just The Way I Feel

November 10th, 2008

Would you like to put negative emotions in their place and reduce the stress they cause in your life? 

If so, you are far from being alone in this desire. 

 

You can put negative emotions in their place by challenging their authenticity. Here’s what I mean. When you become aware of a negative emotion, simply remind yourself, “This is just the way I feel. It’s not necessarily the truth. It doesn’t need to dictate my behavior.” Feelings are not the gospel and aren’t cited in Scripture as a basis for taking action. Left unchecked, your feelings tend to drag you into the worst aspects of human nature, namely, shifting your attention and outlook from the long term to the short term.

With a short time horizon, we are far more likely to react unproductively to a negative feeling rather than respond resourcefully. Too often, our feelings, if used as a compass, lead us to make self-centered choices. Instead of allowing your feelings to guide your decisions, try allowing God’s Word to set your direction.

 

 Compliance with God’s principles is the seldom discussed, timeless secret to sustained positive emotions. If you are held captive to how the world wants you to feel and behave, you must also endure the roller coaster of negative emotions that correspond with that philosophy. Put negative emotions in their place today so that you realize they are not the basis for your decisions.  

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The Flip Side of The Law of Attention

November 7th, 2008

The flip side of the Law of Attention is that whatever you stop thinking about or turn your attention away from tends to atrophy and drop out of your life.

So, starve worry, fear, and doubt by no longer nourishing them with your attention. Remember, whatever you focus on, you are going to experience. If you have an urge to “go negative,” remember that it’s not going to produce anything positive. 

Have YOU Taken The 8 Day Challenge? 

Coach

 

 

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Would You Prefer A Health Scare?

October 28th, 2008

Hey 4:8 Thinkers,

Last week I spoke to a group and spontaneously raised a question which has stuck in my mind since I first asked it Thursday afternoon.
In an effort to get it out of my mind, I want to share it with you…

 With so much social and media chatter about difficult times, the troubled economy, financial crisis, and so forth and so on… I asked the group if they’d be willing to swap their health, their marriage, or their kid’s safety if they could regain their own financial strength.

 In other words, I was really asking if they would have preferred to experience a trauma with their health, a crisis in their marriage or with their children rather than a setback in their pocketbook.

 As is so often the case, the question was the answer.

 And it’s a question we might prefer not to ask, but when we do, we almost inevitably breathe a deep sigh of relief and realize how blessed we truly are. Sometimes, to maximize our sense of gratitude, it’s helpful to give thanks for what we don’t have to be dealing with in our life.
What about you? How would you answer the question?

Just for today… 
·         Practice feeling grateful for what’s NOT broken
·         Reduce all forms of whining and complaining. 
·         Use spare moments to dwell upon the character of God. 
·         Refuse to nurse old wounds with your attention. 
·         Support and defend a victim of gossip or hearsay. 
·         Deploy your words to encourage your spouse and kids…a lot and then a little more still. 
·         Maintain your brain with healthy sleep, nutrition, and exercise. 

Then wake up tomorrow morning, rinse and repeat!
Join the Magnificent Minority who spread joy, NOT stress!
Could there be a better time than now to THINK 4:8?
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Since 1991… It’s all about Focus!

Coach

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