February 18th, 2008
One of the most powerful ways to take charge of your mental life and jack up your potential for joy is by taking assertive control of your exposures. Your exposures refer to the sensory inputs that influence and trigger future thoughts and decisions. In particular you are highly influenced by the things you read, watch, and listen to and the people with whom you associate on a consistent basis. The average American pays little if any attention to their mental diet (or their physical diet) and pays for that neglect with both long and short term negative consequences. This is not for you. In light of your long term goals and values, what types of television programs should you be watching? In light of your long term goals, what should you be listening to during your drive time? In light of your long-term goals, who should you be investing most of your time with? It is much simpler to practice The 4:8 Principle when your exposures are in alignment with what is lovely, true, pure, gracious, excellent, and worthy of praise.
How are you doing in this area?
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February 14th, 2008
Build up and affirm each other daily! Once married, no one on the planet has such a dominating influence on your self-worth as your mate. In fact, in a marriage there is a collective self-image that establishes a ceiling of satisfaction for both of you. In other words, as he builds her up, he builds up the whole relationship. As she affirms him, she is affirming the future she really desires. This is important to keep in mind only during each of the 365 days every year. You can perpetually strengthen your marriage by purposefully becoming your spouse’s greatest champion.
Anyone can praise after the fact, but you can take a proactive role in the quality control of your relationship by affirming what is lovely, excellent, and appreciated…IN ADVANCE of its actual occurrence.
In what ways could you encourage your mate this Valentine’s Day with the words he/she wants and needs to hear?
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February 13th, 2008
In Philippians 4:8 the Apostle Paul challenges us to fix our minds on what is excellent and worthy of praise! Nowhere is this advice more valuable than in marriage. Every thought you think about your spouse either moves you toward your best relationship or it moves you further away. Just thinking critically about your spouse, even if you believe it is warranted, will interrupt and postpone true intimacy and the closeness you both desire. As relentlessly as you may try, you cannot think one thing about your mate and experience something different in the relationship. And the more frequently you think about something, the tighter the grip it exerts on you, the decisions you make, and the actions you take. In what way might you be over-emphasizing a previous disappointment or struggle in your marriage?
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February 1st, 2008
My office is now receiving emails, notes, and phone calls from readers of The 4:8 Principle across the country and even beyond our borders. Interestingly, most readers comment on the breakthrough they have had in a key relationship since reading The 4:8 Principle. It’s not surprising that emphasizing the positive qualities of the people you invest most of your time with will pay rich dividends. More than 90% of our inner dialogue tends to revolve around our dissatisfactions, worries, and fears. With this kind of turbulent mental life, it’s often difficult to see the good in the people we’re spending our life with. Remember, we internalize what we contemplate!
This is why The 4:8 Principle is so important. Who are the four people in your life who will benefit the most if you start putting The 4:8 Principle into practice on a daily basis?
For some additional 4:8 insights, check out Eric Bryant’s blog.
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January 9th, 2008
Most players are pretty good, but they go where the puck is. I go where the puck is going to be. —Wayne Gretzky
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January 8th, 2008
Beginning today, I increase my potential for joy by forgiving myself and others without exception or mental reservation.
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January 7th, 2008
Dear God,
Speak loudly to me and reveal all limiting images in my mind. Replace them with pictures that glorify you and accurately represent my full potential. Upgrade my opinion of myself and my vision for the future so I never feel the need to protect and preserve the past. Show me how to be a faithful steward of my one and only opportunity to magnify the greatness you have placed within me and to show your presence in my life. Lead me away from complacency and any temptation to settle for less than what you know is my absolute best.
How awesome it is that you know everything about me and love me anyway! As I accept and experience your grace and mercy, help me to grasp the depth and perfection of your love as demonstrated by the sacrifice of your only Son. Restore me this day, and make me whole and complete.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
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January 4th, 2008
Anyone can be happy when circumstances are wonderful, but joy is different. Joy is proactive happiness. It is the learned capacity to display your faith ahead of time by means of your daily mental attitude.
To act with joy now, live each hour as if your full potential has already materialized. Proceed, moment by moment, with the gratitude you’d have if your most heartfelt prayers have been answered.
Stop what you are doing and briefly make a list of five things you would be doing differently today if you had already reached your biggest goals or overcome your greatest challenges.
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January 3rd, 2008
Contemplate the wonderful and exciting plans God has in store for your future. Meditate frequently on the character qualities you believe God wants to see in you. The most joyful place you can be is in God’s will.
Ask yourself “What would the future me do differently each morning or evening?
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January 2nd, 2008
When you take exceptionally good care of yourself, you are much more likely to make decisions that will release your brakes and keep your tank full of joy. Here are some essential self-care factors to consider:
- Am I living the life God intends for me?
- Do I have a clear, compelling vision for my future?
- Am I investing time alone each day with God?
- Does anyone in my life hold me accountable to my best self?
- Do I consistently make health-producing food and drink choices?
- Am I exercising in some way almost every day?
- Am I getting sufficient sleep most nights?
- Do I have at least three close personal relationships?
- Do I have “extra time” or margin built into my lifestyle?
- Am I focused on progress rather than perfection?
Use your answers to help you pinpoint the areas where you need the most work. Develop a plan to get you where you want to be.
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